Jesus Isn’t Your Life Coach: The Dangerous Drift of Modern Discipleship

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In today’s church culture, there is often confusion between discipleship and mentorship. While both involve guidance and growth, discipleship is something far deeper and eternally significant. It is not simply about personal development, leadership coaching, or offering support through hard times. Discipleship is about learning to walk with Jesus—and teaching others to do the same.

We need to reclaim this vision if we’re going to obey the Great Commission. Jesus didn’t say, “Go into all the world and make emotionally well-balanced people.” He said, “Go and make disciples.” The goal isn’t therapy—it’s transformation in Christ.

The Church Is Not a Therapy Center

A troubling trend has emerged in modern churches: treating the body of Christ like a therapy center. People gather to process, vent, and feel heard—but they leave unchanged. While emotional care has its place, we must not let it replace our mission. When discipleship becomes all about personal wellness without prayer and the Word, it loses its power. It’s not discipleship—it’s just discussion.

Discipleship that lacks prayer and Scripture is just a hangout group. It’s socializing with religious language but no spiritual traction. The early church didn’t grow because they created safe spaces for emotional processing—they grew because they were desperate for God, devoted to His Word, and empowered by the Holy Spirit.

We must refuse to settle for comfort when we’ve been called to carry a cross.

Would This Be Called Discipleship Anywhere Else?

Let’s be honest with ourselves:

If we imposed our version of modern discipleship over the early church, would they recognize it?

Would Peter, Paul, or Mary call our coffee shop Bible chats and self-care groups “discipleship”?

Would the persecuted underground church in China or Iran look at our small group structures, our content series, our “doing life together” approach and say, “Yes, this is what Jesus meant”?

It’s been said that “the modern view of discipleship seems to be a mild-mannered man teaching mild-mannered men how to be more mild-mannered.” That’s not the Gospel—it’s cultural comfort wrapped in Christian language. Discipleship in the New Testament meant life-or-death obedience to Jesus. It meant leaving nets, laying down lives, losing status, facing persecution, and choosing Christ no matter the cost. For much of the persecuted church today, following Jesus can mean prison, poverty, or martyrdom. In that context, discipleship is not a program—it’s survival.

So we must ask: if our discipleship doesn’t prepare people to suffer for Jesus, doesn’t drive them to Scripture and prayer, and doesn’t teach them to obey Christ in everything, can we still call it discipleship?

Discipleship Is a Call to Follow Jesus

At its core, discipleship is not about following a leader or a system—it’s about following Jesus. We are not making people into better versions of themselves; we are calling them to die to self and live in Christ.

If our model of discipleship is more about personality, preferences, or leadership influence than it is about knowing and walking with Jesus, we’ve missed the mark. We’re not building followers of us—we’re building followers of Christ. That’s why discipleship must center on seeking the Lord, not mimicking a mentor.

How to Make Disciples Who Walk with God

Here are some practical, biblical ways to build real disciples:

1. Pray Together and Teach Prayer

Prayer isn’t just something we do—it’s the lifeblood of our walk with God. If we’re not teaching people to pray, we’re not teaching them to be disciples. We must seek God with those we disciple and challenge them to seek Him on their own.

2. Immerse in Scripture

Disciples need more than spiritual inspiration; they need spiritual foundation. Open the Word, not just books about the Word. Teach them how to read, understand, and apply Scripture daily.

3. Model Obedience

Don’t show off your strengths—show them your surrender. Discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress and obedience. Share your failures and how God met you in them.

4. Point People to the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the true teacher and guide. Help those you disciple listen for His voice, yield to His direction, and trust His power—not yours.

5. Call Them to the Cross

Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me.” Real discipleship costs something. Don’t water it down. Call people to total surrender.

Conclusion

We don’t need more polished gatherings that make people feel better. We need disciples who know how to seek God, obey His voice, and endure for His glory.

Discipleship isn’t therapy. It’s training in righteousness. It’s not a support group—it’s a call to follow Jesus with everything we’ve got. And if we truly want to make disciples, then our homes, churches, and groups must be places where people meet God, submit to His Word, and walk in His ways.

We must ask ourselves—does what we’re doing work in a prison cell? In a war zone? In the face of persecution? If not, we’re building on sand.

Let’s return to the simplicity and the cost of real discipleship: to know Christ and make Him known. Nothing less will do